Revolutionary Swordsman Cloud
by BlastorMechAlucardBoltekka8000
Summary: What happens when Cloud receives an ominous letter from the End of the World? Will Cloud be able to save Sephiroth from his cruel fate? revolutionary
1. Chapter 1

How to Kill Sephiroth 100 Ways, (±72% error)

Sephiroth stood defiantly before one of the four machine kings, Pizza. "You seem to be a great source of minus energy. With this Zonder metal you will become our most powerful Zonder yet!" Pizza defiantly exclaimed. Giving Pizza a menacing glare Sephiroth clutched his dai katana in both hands, preparing for the carnage the was about to take place. As Sephiroth ran to attack Pizza casually moved with a speed almost equal to teleportation, appearing behind Sephiroth. "Far too slow, even Gai is faster than you!" chortled Pizza.

To Sephroth's bewilderment the Zonder metal was slapped onto his forehead; causing Sephiroth to become Zonderized, absorbing all of the nearby machinery.

Pizza thought that by choosing a specimen this powerful that it may be able to stand up to that black robot that seemed to crush all of Lord Pasder's plans. Sephiroth's minus energy was so great that the master program did not know how to alleviate the immense pressure of Sephiroth's minus energy. Pizza realizing this failure watched in dismay as Sephiroth began to transform into a small rubberband powered glider plane Zonder. "This Zonder is worthless! At least for fighting the black robot" Pizza haughtily retorted.

Just then a shrill and manic cackle was heard it was Pinchone. After the laughing ceased the shrill robotic voice of Pinchone suggested that they use the newly Zonderized Shepheroth as bait to distract the black robot and the legacy of Cain while the four machine kings build a Zonder metal plant. However be for they could construct their plan the Zonderized Sephiroth escaped while exclaiming a repetitious and guttural "Zonder!!! Zonder!!!". Neither Pizza nor Pinchone cared as whatever Sephiroth did would aid them, even if only a minuscule amount.

While Volfog was monitoring Mamoru he detected the presence of a Zonder and alerted everyone at the Gutsy Georoid Guard. Volfog rushed off in vehicle form with both his lights and sirens blaring. As Volfog reached the Zonder he shouted "System change!" and begin the transform into robot mode. Volfog used his melting siren to destroy the Zonder's protective shield. "Silver Cross!" Volfog shouted as he held his shirikun above his head. The projectile effectively clipped Sephiroth's wing off causing him to fall to the ground.

Sephiroth began to mature into a full Zonder and took on a form of a menacingly angelic being with only one wing. By this time GaiGar appeared and requested to perform Final Fusion. Back at the GGG base chief Taiga enthusiastically approved while Mikoto held her fist high into the air shouting "Program Drive!" as her fist broke the safety glass triggering the final fusion approval. GaiGar shouted "Final Fusion!" as his he was enveloped in a tornado of green smoke. The three GaoMachines entered the tornado and began to change. The GaoDrills separated and joined with GaiGar's feet extending his legs while GaiGar's arms folded back allowing the GaoLiner to slide into place becoming GaiGar's new arms. Finally StealthGao slid onto GaiGar's back and the airplanes engines became attached to the arms that folded out of the GaoLiner. A mane was attached to Galion's face protruding from the chest of GaiGar and a helmet was placed over GaiGar's head. The fusion between the mech GaiGar, a bullet train, drill machine, and stealth bomber was complete. With that, Gai shouted "GaoGaiGar!" and was now ready for combat.

Due to this battle taking place in a populated city the Dividing Driver was launched and GaoGaiGar used it to create a dimensional rift, ensuring bystanders would not be harmed by the outcome. Gai was now ready for his most ultimate attack: the Goldion Hammer! Chief Taiga approved the use of the massive hammer, dramatically releasing the safety with a key stored on his person. Mikoto responded by shouting "Goldion Hammer: Safety device RELIEVE!" as she slide a key card rigidly on the control panel revealing the Goldion Hammers control console. The massive robot Goldimarg responded to the command and separated, launching it's top half, becoming the incredible Goldion Hammer. The bottom half transformed into a gauntlet that was roughly one third the size of GaoGaiGar. GaoGaiGar attached the gauntlet in mid air while shouting "Hammer Connect!". Holding the massive hand out in front of him GaoGaiGar caught the even more massive Goldion Hammer yelling "Goldion Hammer!" as GaoGaiGar's G-stone in his GS ride began to output tremendous power, causing his whole body to glow gold. Holding the behemoth hammer in front of him GaoGaiGar pulled a stake made of a blinding white hot energy out of the hammer. As he placed the steak into the center of the Zonder robots eye he brought down the hammer of epic proportions and shouted "Hammer Hell!". As the feeble Zonder robot was being turned into pure light energy an enormous hook protruded from GaoGaiGar's massive gauntlet and scooped out the Zonder core containing Sephiroth while exclaiming "Hammer Heaven!". Now that the core was safe GaoGaiGar could use the Goldion hammer to completely obliterate the demolished remains of the failed Zonder robot. As the hammer came down slowly the cyborg Gai shouted at the top of his lungs "HIKARI NI NARE!!". When the hammer was finally lowered to the ground the entire Zonder robot was converted into light particles that escaped into space as a pillar of light. As GaoGaiGar's fearsome looking head bore witness to the scene motes of light floated around his head further confirming the decimation or the failed Zonder.

Now it was time for the legacy of Cain; Mamoru, to purify the core containing the malevolent Sephiroth. Mamoru flew up to GaoGaiGar's hand where the Zonder core was held and began purifying the core. The Zonder core began reverting to the original form of Sephiroth. Before long a Sephiroth was in tears of joy flowing from his softened face. At that moment Mamoru spoke to Sephiroth "Can you hear the sound?". Sephiroth looked somewhat confused but to him it did not matter he had never felt so light and happy in all of his memories. A faint sound of a car's engine was heard revving in the distance, and it seemed that it was getting louder. Suddenly a bright red convertible containing Akio and Anthy Himemiya came flying through the air, hitting the repentant Sephiroth head on, as he wept in GaoGaiGar's hand. The force knocked Sephiroth to the ground and Akio speed on as if nothing had happened; his elegant white ponytail billowing in the wind. Anthy the rose bride looked back with a pleasant smile and faded away as the car accelerated from sight.

Sephiroth lay on the ground, suffering multiple broken ribs and a compound fracture to his left arm. Despite this unfortunate event he still felt the same joy as before, due to all of his minus energy being drained by the Zonder. As he was beginning to feebly stand a loud clear voice exclaimed "Well, what have we here. Why if it isn't Sephiroth" as a white gloved hand was forced though Sephiroth's chest, exiting through is back and suspending him in the air. Leading from the white glove was the sleeve of the blood red over coat of Alucard. Sephiroth struggled pathetically on the end of Alucard's hand as Alucard absorbed the blood dripping down his arm. A maniacal smile spread over Alucard's immortal face as he chided "What, Is that all I can expect of the great Sephiroth? Aren't you going to srike me down with that pathetic little human sword?". Sephiroth began to feel rage again and was shrouded in even more darkness than before. Alucard seeing this thought to relive his boredom and tossed him aside like a ragdoll, allowing Sephiroth to wield his ridiculously long sword. Now that Sephiroth was fully armed there was nothing stopping the destruction of Alucard. Alucard stood laughing as Sephiroth cleaved his body in two with the ridiculous sword. Sephiroth triumphantly stood over Alucard's dismembered body exclaiming that the world was next to feel his wrath. At that moment Alucard's body began to twitch and dissolve into a swarm is pitch black bats. The bats begin to form a dense cluster taking the shape of Alucard. "You call that an attack? You're not even worthy for me to dispose of" Alucard scoffed.

Since Sephiroth was not even considered an obstacle barring Alucard's path he decided to get some sleep as it was exhausting to be active in the sunlight. As he was walking through the nearest wall an enraged swords man came barreling in brandishing and immense sword; no, it was more like a slab of iron. Screaming at the top of his lungs and clutching the immense sword single handedly. Eyeing Sephiroth with one mad eye Gutts spun the sword around his body with immense centrifugal force rendering Sephiroth's body with a clean diagonal cut from his right shoulder to above his left hip. Sephiroths sword was cleanly broken and as both parts of the sword and his body where falling in mid air a single bullet fired from an M-16 was heard whizzing by.

On closer inspection after Sephiroth's bodily pieces landed, a single hole was discovered in the center of his forehead, between the eyes. Such an amazing feat of accuracy could only belong to the legendary assassin Golgo13. Two and a half kilometers away inside of the hotel room rented under the name of Duke Togo a somewhat Asian looking man with sharp eyes was methodically taking apart a customized M-16 and packing it in a briefcase. Possessed by the Berserkers armor Gutts unloaded his cannon arm into the remains of Sephiroth. Luckily Schierke was able to pull Gutts out of his rage and they both escaped.

No sooner had Gutts and Schierke left the scene a man in a blue suit appeared dragging a blonde-haired girl by the head with what appeared to be a demonic looking hand with various tools in place of his fingers. "Neuro we came too late" she said tears welling up in her eyes. Neuro held the girl close to his face and menacingly explained "Your not going to let my meal get away? Right Yakko?". Yakko made a sad face and Neuro took it to mean that her lowly protozoa equivalent brain comprehended most of what he had to say. "777 tools of the daemon world Evil Snatcher!" exclaimed Neuro. A spindly mechanical looking spider daemon with countless legs appeared an attached one leg to each fragment of Sephiroth's body and beginning to retract the legs until the body was restored as Frankensteined amalgamation of parts with the daemon as the core. Neuro explained that this daemon was traditionally used in the daemon realm to revive a victim if they were killed prematurely by placing this soul-eating daemon inside their body. Once inside the core of the daemon starts to absorb the loose spirits attached to the pieces and uses the energy to reanimate the pieces individually so it may have a more nutritious meal. The only down side was the body would be completely consumed in 666 hours, including the soul of the victim. The patchwork Sephiroth began to moan as Neuro made many inquisitions as to what the events that previously took place, leaving him in the pitiful state he was currently in. The result caused Neuro to become disappointed. "This can hardly be classified as an mystery but I suppose it is better than starving in this world" Neuro remorsefully said. Yakko was then possessed by Neuro and pointed at the patchwork Sephiroth exclaiming "The idiot is you!". Neuro cut her off abruptly "Sensei told me that you picked a fight with a galactic stress reliever gone haywire, got smashed by a giant hammer, hit by a washed out prince riding a red convertible, made an immortal vampire so bored it did not want to play with you, enraged a berserker by claiming the weapon you use is a sword, and finally you were sniped by Golgo13 as a charity." Sephiroth looked bewildered as Neuro exclaimed with relish "Ikidakimasu!" as his head reverted to its normal bird like form clamping down on Sephiroth's head, consuming the feeble mystery.

Just then a lazy eyed man with messy silver hair came up to the struggling remains. "Hey, Shinpachi-san see this is a perfect example of what happens to you if you don't drink enough milk" Gin lazily remarked as he poked the remains with his wooden sword. Sinpachi recoiled in horror as he saw the remains. A detective by the name of Oishi jumped out of an undercover cop car and yelled "I knew Gin-san was behind the Oyashiro-sama's curse!". With that the Gin and Shinpachi ran with Oishi tailing the frantic pair, leaving the slowly digesting remains behind.

On the horizon a small armored figure on top of a robotic vehicle was observed to be speeding towards the quivering remains. As the figure came closer, it was found to be that of blastor Tekkaman Blade atop of Pegas. Blade ordered Pegas to prepare for Voltekka and Pegas heartily responded with a "Ra-sa" confirming the order. Blade jumped off of Pegas and flew high into the air and positioned his armored forearms toward the twitching remains. Simultaneously all four of the covers covering the emerald apertures of his Voltekka generators slide open; one on each forearms and shoulders. Massive amounts of Fermium energy began to build up at each of the four points until it joined as one colossal orb of Fermium energy. The landscape began to heave under the immense power and random objects began to be torn out of the ground vertically due to a gravitational anomaly while moist objects in the vicinity began exploding due to the reactivity of the highly concentrated Fermium mixing with the water. The power was so immense Blade let out a deafening scream and released the Voltekka attack. A beam of white light spread a large swath of destruction eroding both the objects it came into contact and their shadows until the only thing left was the blinding white light. As the light was traveling toward the slowly crawling remains of Sephiroth two large shots of energy came and joined the Voltekka augmenting it to become even more powerful. Just as the powered up Voltekka nearly reached Sephiroth the ground erupted and a giant sandworm from Dune swallowed the remains of Sephiroth and the town of Hinamizawa. The Voltekka hit the sandworm with full force, decimating all of its heat resistant armor along with the entire worm and the tortured remains of Sephiroth.

A deep canal was etched into the earth from the Voltekka attack, the end of which contained the point in space where Sephiroth once existed. At that point were three figures: Tekkaman Blade, Samus Aran, and Megaman. They were all checking to see if any trace of the outlandishly fabled Sephiroth existed. When nothing was found Samus decided not to collect the bounty on Sephiroth due to considering it to be charitable gift for the world. Megaman was not disappointed that he could not steal the power of Sephiroth because even if it allowed him to aim up its attack would be too worthless. Blade on the other hand reverted back to D-Boy and lost his memory of erasing Sephiroth due to the power of the Blastor Voltekka. When he found out from the others that his memory of the event was lost he was glad that such a Baseless memory was taken from him.

After no trace of Sephiroth's body and soul each person that crossed his path wondered why professor Charles Xavier had telepathically contacted them, warning of the immense danger Sephiroth posed to the world. Using Cerebral Xavier told them that the danger Sephiroth possessed was not in his actual physical or (needless to say) mental power, but in the massive fan-base that he has and continues to obtain. Sephiroth fans mindlessly devote themselves thinking (or perhaps not thinking) that he is the greatest character in existence. This behavior causes those influenced to stop their progression of learning about anything new, effectively castrating them in a mental sense. This corruption must be stopped. In order to halt further corruption the icon had to be erased since that was the only true power he actually possessed. Xavier ended by thanking all who were able to respond to the call and expressed his regrets to the sandworm that sacrificed it's live. Xavier also thanked Lord Ill Palazo and his ACROSS organization for notifying of such a horrific societal corruption.

So ends the first chapter of the struggle to free peoples minds, allowing them to reach higher peaks. The next chapter will deal with a character Sephiroth fans will use as a proxy. As most Sephiroth fans are limited to a few series the path of least resistance to the exposure of new things would lead to Cloud. The key features governing their decision would be that Cloud also has a really big sword, though not quite as long and therefore inferior. Now that Sephiroth is officially dead the fans will flock to Cloud, who already has too large of a fan base. You see there are two types of idiot fans one that judges power by the thickness of the sword and one that judges from the length. Both are wrong however, for the sword is irrelevant. What matters most is the content of the character not the content of their hand. In the name of God, impure souls of the idiot fan-base shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen.

Cast

In order of appearance

Sephiroth

Pizza/Soldat J

Penchinon /J-Ark

Volfogg

Koutaro Taiga

Mikoto

Gai

GaiGar

GaoGaiGar

Goldimarg/Goldytank

Mamoru/Legacy of Cain

Akio

Anthy Himemia/rose bride

Alucard

Gutts

Golgo13

Schierke

Neuro

Yakko

Gintoki

Shinpachi

Oishi

Tekkaman Blade/D-Boy/Takaya Aiba/_Slade_/_Technoman_

Samus Aran

Megaman

Alistair the Sandworm

Professor Charles Xavier

Lord Ill Palazzo

Zoamelguster


	2. Chapter 2

I regret to inform you; however, Sepheiroth may be alive. I have come to this conclusion after observing a plethora of Sepheiri sightings across the world. While most of these hundreds of thousands of occurrences are likely to be cos-players, Sephieroth's death cannot be confirmed due to the lack of evidence from the last chapter (according to Phoenix Wright). Shephieroth's satanic influence must be erased, even if only mindless sinners they still need to be purged from this world and beyond before they defile this world.

Cloud received a letter three days earlier from the End of the World. The letter informed him that his presence was requested at the dueling arena at school. This was not the first time he had to defend himself from Akio's minions, yet it was the first time Akio directly confronted him. Cloud wished to end this horrible destiny where one's fate was decided over a simple duel involving knocking roses off of his adversaries shirt. Perhaps when this was over he could solve things in a more manly matter like card games involving holographic monsters and the destruction of the losers soul, thought Cloud.

As Cloud walked up to the entrance of the arena he grabbed the handle of the door with the hand equipped with the rose crest. A drop of water fell signifying Cloud's right to enter the arena and Cloud ascended the ridiculously long, logic defying spiral stair case.

When Cloud reached the top Akio was waiting with Sephieroth while several red topless cars revved in the back ground.

"You certainly took a long time to get here Cloud, I was beginning to lose my patience" Akio musingly murmured.

Cloud retorted "Well if your architect wasn't some sort of sick bastard perhaps you wouldn't have such a long staircase."

Akio looked shocked " Do you mean to tell me that you actually took the stairs? You know there is an elevator in the middle of the staircase, right? How dense can you be? If you read the sign at the bottom the stairs are only to be used in case of emergency. Or perhaps you lack the skill to read?"

Cloud, becoming increasingly irritated called Sephieroth over to begin the duel. Sepheiroth fell backwards in a trance like state and Cloud caught him before he fell. Holding his unconscious body a light appeared out of Sephieroth's chest, followed by the hilt of a sword. Cloud grabbed the sword and began to pull it from Sepheiroths limp body. The sword was an incredible length. In fact the end had yet to be reached at over six feet. Cloud; struggling, continued to pull out the slender blade but even after eight feet, twelve feet, no, even greater the sword was still not out. Pulling the sword out became an increasingly difficult, causing Cloud to have to put his full weight as he pulled it out backwards. As unobservant as ever, Cloud failed to realize the dueling arena was on a platform and in his struggle he fell backwards off of the platform, causing the ringing of the bells signifying his defeat.

Akio was overjoyed that he did not have to put any effort into winning. Reaching over Akio pulled the rest of the sword out; which, was only a few inches. Using the sword he attempted to remove the seal that trapped his ambitions; however, the sword broke meaninglessly with a sharp clatter of steel falling over the side. Cloud landed at the bottom of the staircase about three miles down creating a small crater. Cloud, of course was uninjured due to having the peculiar ability to defy the laws of physics, taking no fall damage. As Cloud lay looking up at the floating castle he saw something shimmery. That shimmery thing was the last thing Cloud would ever see as it was the broken sword. The tip of the sword landed directly between his eyes, nailing his head into the ground with the twenty foot long broken shaft.

At the top of the staircase Akio cursed as he lost his only way of opening the door. Perhaps there was another way?

Find out next time in the exciting new chapter of Revolutionary Swordsman Cloud…


End file.
